General Motors disintegrated in 2009 after 101 years of being the symbol of our highly industrialized nation.  And entire industries were begging Obama for a bailout, but did Chanel or Hermes ever so much as slash their prices since the economy dipped?  Have you ever heard of a liquor store going out of business?  Have you managed to stop smoking despite the rising prices of cigarettes?  “I think not”, answered my wallet.  The fact is, some industries are just plain recession proof.  That is because when times are hard, instead of completely saving our pennies, we use a trip to the store to reward ourselves for frugality.  Oh, don’t pretend like I’m the only one who refuses to cut the fat in these terribly thin times.

I’ve been eating leftovers for the past couple of weeks, which actually means the cereal I ate for breakfast is what I ate for dinner the preceding night.  But I’ve got a pair of blue suede pumps arriving via UPS that I ordered online.  Here’s hoping that my account doesn’t overdraft.  Folks, we are living in thin times, but that doesn’t mean we’ve managed to cut down on our vices, now we’re just now using them as therapy as weto weather the storm.  So those blue pumps that I bought are not a slice of luxury, they are actually self-prescribed medication.

So in order for us to keep up with our necessary vices, I’ve compiled a short list of ways to save money in these uncertain times.

Buy Cheap Alcohol – Sure, the good stuff goes down more smoothly, and people with class and money will be able to smell it on your breath, but what does all that matter when you are happily oblivious to all social code on only $15 a handle?

Shop Consignment Shops – I know it feels like a fall from grace to leave with a pre-owned Chanel purse, especially if that purse is not in a Chanel paper shopping bag but in a plastic bag with the face of a dog on it.  However, you can throw together some really cool outfits that supersede trendy and move into a realm of really cool.  I especially love the fact that there is a guarantee that no one else will be cramping my style on the streets.  Besides, the stuff in consignment shops are is usually close to brand new so only you can tell that you’ve bought an iguana skin purse for one-a fifteenth of the original price.

Get to the club early – Who are we trying to impress?  Get to the club early while its still free and relax.  Wait till all the cool kids roll in and then pretend to yourself that you arrived only moments before they did.  No one will be the wiser, except fellow early birds.  Your feet may be tired by the end of the night, and you may have been there long enough to hear some of the hits played twice, but if you pre-gamed with cheap alcohol none of those things would really matter.

Enforce chivalry – there was a time when I fancied myself a feminist, but I have since learned that I am not ready to let go of the expectation that the guy will pay for everything and neither should you.  I’ve since decided, and I hope you join me, to quit trying to make the world a better place and allow myself to be cosseted and cradled in the security of a world where a woman’s responsibility does not extend beyond the beauty of her toes.

Go to the Dollar Store – No, I am not suggesting you buy random brands of things, but what you may not know is that dollar stores have name brand items.  They have Colgate toothpaste and Reynold’s aluminum foil and, my favorite, Garnier Fructis hair products.  I like to hit the dollar store before going to a major chain for the best possible deals.  Only better deal is to buy these things off a man selling them from a duffle bag on the corner.

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Cut the costs where you can to allow more things you absolutely love.  Those things may include much of the food guide pyramid or going anywhere that isn’t free before 11, but eventually the shoes, cigs, and alcohol will numb you to the pain of a recession.

Karen Alise