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Learn how to F*cking Drive New Orleans

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April 19, 2012 By In Announcements, Culture

By Amanda LaPlaca

 

I think we can all agree, New Orleans is officially the epicenter of bad driving. I’ve never been more afraid of the road; as a driver, bicyclist and pedestrian. It’s mind-boggling how quickly logic and kindness get tossed out the car window, so it’s no wonder why bad driving is part of common conversation. I’ve been a witness to red light rushing, multi-tasking swerving, and just blatant impatience. And those are just observations I made from a quick drive this morning. I’ve become less and less surprised with I see on the roads in New Orleans, for better or worse.

Is there any reason why all these bad driving cliques happen here so often? Among my discussions with other baffled drivers, many theories began to surface:

  • ‘It’s the general laid-backness with alcohol’.
  • ‘It’s the congestion, never-ending construction and bad roads’.
  • ‘It’s the music they listen.’
  • ‘There something in the water’
  • ‘It’s genetics.’ (Here’s an article that says so)
  • ‘All other aspects of Southern living incorporate manners and taking your time. However, this southern suppression of speed gets bottled up and released behind the wheel’.

I particularly like the last one but the theories are just as endless as the driving horror stories. My biggest concern: is road irresponsibility contagious? Will I fall a victim to osmosis and start being careless behind the wheel? I decided to gather five road pet peeves in hopes that I will not repeat what I’ve seen and join the road rage cycle.

My TOP 5 PET PEEVES with New Orleans Drivers:

1. Ignoring ‘Stop’ Signs

Can people read? It says S-T-O-P, not ‘roll through’ or ‘GO’ but stop! I’ve had too many close calls with cars rolling through stop signs. I promise it won’t kill anyone to take one second to fully stop then continue on driving.

2. Aggressive Behavior

I hear a loud engine revving behind me on a back road. I look down at my speedometer, yep-I’m going the speed limit. So, why is this car kissing my bumper? I want to telepathically tell them: “Just think and breathe for two seconds. Unhitch your foot from the pedal and give me some room. You never know…someone might roll through a stop sign and I’ll need to jam on the breaks.”

3. Blinders & Blinkers
I’m not sure if Louisiana cars come with working blinkers. Let me reassure all, using a blinker isn’t a sign of weakness but respect for others on the road. The most common thing I see on the road: a car just weaving through lanes or crossing multiple lanes without a signal (or even looking). It’s blind ignorance.

4. Never letting anyone in/out

I’ve sat and waited and waited on certain intersections in hopes that a kind Nissian or Toyota would slow down, wave a friendly hand and let me go. But I don’t hold my breathe for that anymore. Most drivers would rather rush to join the traffic jam ahead than let a fellow driver go.

5. Honking isn’t always polite

Beep! Beep! What’s the emergency? Is it necessary to instantly honk when the light turns green? NO! Resist the urge to use the horn!

 

Phew! It feels great to articulate my road frustrations (and not allow them to turn into road rage) but I’m not sure what’s farther down the road.  For now, I’ll thank my lucky stars every time I get to my destination safely, continue to pay my high car insurance rates, and write honkus.

 

Photo Credit: Collage created on an internet search entitled ‘road rage’.

Amanda LaPlaca is a creative designer from Brooklyn, NYC. She is an avid calendar filler (volunteering, events, etc) and loves being on the go but relaxes each day in her Uptown backyard garden after a long bike ride. www.amlaplaca.blogspot.com + www.amandalaplaca.com

Top 5 Spots to Get Wet & Stay Cool

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April 11, 2012 By In Culture

Bring on the iced tea and straw hats, y’all, because it is HOT AGAIN. And it’s only going to get hotter. While hydration is paramount and air conditioning is definitely not optional, there is nothing quite as effective – and enjoyable – as submerging yourself fully in some good old H20. Here are my top picks in and around New Orleans for living the life aquatic:

1. The Country Club 

The truest spirit of the mullet manifests itself in this fine dining in-the-front, nude swimming in-the-back Bywater establishment. The pool area is way less scuzzy than you might imagine – the facilities are actually quite beautiful, although certainly not a stop on the list for Grandma’s next visit. Enjoy a frosty beverage at the cabana bar, cool off in the pool, or relax in the large sauna. Just leave your prude pants at the door – the Country Club is best experienced with an open mind. And if you need help loosening up, Saturday and Sunday brunch offers $10 bottomless mimosas.

634 Louisa Street. Pool passes range from $8-15, depending on time and day; clothing optional. 

2. Hotel Pools 

For the sake of keeping these sacred places accessible, I will not name names. But ask around and you’ll discover that many hotel pools in New Orleans are extremely easy to sneak into. Not only will you be soaking up rays in a super nice pool, you’ll also be drinking in the sweet sinfulness of being somewhere you’re not supposed to be. I’m not saying it’s not illegal…but I’m not saying it’s not awesome, either.

3. Blue Bayou

This Baton Rouge water park boasts five of the world’s largest water slides, including the super-badass VooDoo and gargantuan Azuka. The trip north and price of admission is worth the aquatic smorgasbord that awaits you, with everything from mega-slides to a wave pool and a lazy river. Concession stands offering fried chicken and Dippin’ Dots round out this blast from teenage past (as do the actual teenagers who populate Blue Bayou in abundance). But you ignore those belly-button pierced ghosts of age bracket past. We all deserve to shoot screaming through a giant tube propelled by hundreds of gallons of water every once in awhile! So treat yourself.

18142 Perkins Road, Baton Rouge, LA 70810. $36.99 grants access to Blue Bayou and amusement park Dixie Landin’.

4. Wayne’s World Tubing 

Ah, tubing. Nothing is quite as fine as lying belly up on a giant yellow flotation device, guzzling cheap beer, and forgetting your obligations to civilized humanity for a few hours as you float through bitchin’ natural beauty. It’s also a relatively inexpensive way to become one with water, which is what sweltering summers in Louisiana require of us. Wayne’s World is my favorite tubing spot – reliable, flexible, and on the incomparable Bogue Chitto River. Happy floating!

11697 Hunt Rd. Franklinton, LA 70438. (985) 795-2004. $15 tubing trip, $5 for a tube to float your ice chest.

5. Audubon Park Pool and Cool Zoo 

If you end up on babysitting duty this summer, load up the little rascals and haul ‘em out to Cool Zoo at Audubon Zoo. It is a rad water park for kids, and they allegedly have beer in the food court – can you say Best Day Ever? Audubon Park also has a free, public access swimming pool that can be either awesome or overcrowded depending on the day. Just do a little scoping and planning to ensure optimal enjoyment of this gratis watering hole.

Cool Zoo admission: $7 for non-members, $5 for members. The Whitney M. Young pool is not open yet for the warm season; check the website for updates. 


NOLA Street Style: NOLAFW MASHUP Edition

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March 21, 2012 By In Culture, Events, Fashion, Spotted

Another New Orleans Fashion Week has come and gone, my friends. What a week it was! Runway shows, workshops, pre-parties, parties, after parties, brunches and other events speckled the schedule last week. The growth of the bi-annual event has been phenomenal. New Orleans Fashion Week began last March, making last week’s affair only the third ever. With a host of new events this spring, as well as a heightened awareness of them, the most recent NOLA Fashion Week was the gathering place for the style-conscious population of NOLA. This year I was only able to attend the Vitamin Water MASHUP, a mixture of music - featuring Royal Teeth, Big History and Baby Bee – and fashion - featuring Jolie and Elizabeth, dope and Blackout - at the newly re-opened Joy Theater. However, even though I only had one night I encountered more than enough sexy people and outfits to make me and camera happy.

Note: I wasn’t able to get everyone’s names, so if you see yourself in one of these photos leave a comment and I’ll add your name to the picture!

 

Brooke Larsen is a performer, photographer, and writer from New Orleans, LA. She has a Bachelors degree in History from the University of New Orleans where she now works full-time. Brooke loves comedy – she is in an improv troupe – and fashion – she has a fashion blog and attempts to dress well daily. Her goals are to excel as an artist and to one day work in historic preservation. For more intrigue, visit hellobrookelarsen.com or her blog.

Foburg Fest Party Photos

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March 16, 2012 By In Culture, Events, Music, Muthaf*kin Party Pics

The moments when I feel most in awe of the magic that is New Orleans always take me by surprise. I’ll be simply going about my day when suddenly something extraordinary happens – a second line interrupts my dull commute home; I wake up to a brass band outside my door; a mighty, jaw-dropping thunderstorm rattles me into clarity. Those moments make you stop and appreciate why you decided to move to (or remain in) this city in the first place. I had one such moment at the WTUL/InvadeNOLA Foburg Fest showcase party, which featured an insane array of great music, both local and from around the country. The space where our all-day onslaught of tunes was held, Michalopoulos Studio on Elysian Fields, is one of those NOLA gems makes you feel like a roughneck teen breaking into an abandoned warehouse – its dusty exposed walls are adorned with giant torch-bearing hands, and window frames hang eerily from the rafters. It was a sublime spot to soak up some live shows, and I fell head over heels for Tennessee’s Carolina Story, a husband and wife Americana duo who gave me nonstop chills through their whole set. Check out their video at the end of this post, and peep some of my photos from the first part of the day below. I didn’t get to catch every act, the ones I did see were pure sonic euphoria. If you didn’t make it out this year, don’t miss the next time around!

The New Movement: Laughter is Power

This is only two-thirds of the crowd. They had people lined up along the walls & in the doorway! (image provided by TNM Facebook)
March 9, 2012 By In Announcements, Creative Class, Culture, Events, Local Spotlight, Personal Narrative, Places, Theater

This is only two-thirds of the crowd. They had people lined up along the walls & in the doorway! (image provided by TNM)

This has been an inadvertent helluva week; in good ways, in stressful ways, in why-must-I-leave-my-bed ways (this is already starting to sound like a private journal entry – retreat!).

As a portion of you might know, I’m currently eyeballs-deep in rehearsals for A Streetcar Named Desire with Southern Rep & InsideOut Productions, and we’re scheduled to debut at Michalopaulos Studios on Elysian Fields in a couple of weeks!

While it’s all terribly exciting, and I am really, truly so effing thrilled to be working alongside some of New Orleans’ most talented performers and theatre-makers, it leaves little time for seeing other productions, writing about my experiences, or fulfilling other more rudimentary to-do’s like laundry or remembering the last time I ate.  That being said, when I see a window of opportunity to catch a live performance, no matter how restless my mind or weary my bones, I make a point to go out and see everything I can while simultaneously working towards providing experiences for audiences of my own.

Some call it madness – others call it passion.  The universal translation? Show business.

Whatever it was, it guided my steps as I left from – you guessed it: rehearsal! – last Saturday night and trekked through Lower Decatur and into the Marigny to behold a sure-to-be exciting moment in NOLA comedic history: the grand opening of The New Movement’s performance venue at 1919 Burgundy St, sharing the building with the all-NOLA news and media entity, NOLA Defender.

I need not go into grandiose detail about just how awesome these guys are, because you can read all about it by clicking ND’s link above for the write-up by Mary-Devon Dupuy or in Alex Woodward’s excellent detailing in last week’s issue of Gambit Weekly.

I just want it to be known what it felt like to be in the room, sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with strangers while spotting familiar faces in the swell of it; everyone with eager eyes, wide smiles, and drinks from the neighborhood bar in hand, all ready to LAUGH, whether earnestly or uncomfortably at our own NOLA improvisers and sojourning sister-troupes from the TNMs in Austin and Houston.

Absolutely anything could (and did!) happen in those 2 hours, and we loved every second of it together as we clapped in rhythm during super-cool music interludes and in-between the pant-zipper-dancing wiles of a host who said things like, “Austin and New Orleans, two pretty similar towns…except ya know, a few more beards in Austin…a few less fleur de lis tattoos…?”

As the room brimmed with varying and uncontrollable laughter throughout the night, it was like an epinephrine straight to the chest.  And the real kicker?  Live comedy reaches beyond the four walls of TNM’s newly opened, super-sexy, and intimate giggle haven.

Comedy is happening nearly every day of the week!  Don’t believe me?  Visit this page on NolaImprov.com and tell it to my comment box.

It's going DOWN this weekend!

If that’s not enough, they’re teaming up with the Foburg Music Festival for Foburg.Comedy, so you can buy your tickets in advance if you don’t want to wait in line, because trust me, ladies and gentlemen, there will be lines.  Come out this weekend for a guffaw or two and see for yourself!

Plus, a personal favorite goes down at 9PM every Wednesday: You Think You’re Funny? Open Mic at Carrollton Station. The laughs are free, the drinks are cheap, and I can never get enough of Scotland Green.  I have yet to make it out to Lost Love Lounge on a Tuesday night, but when I do, I know that Comedy Catastrophe awaits at 10PM, hosted by the sardonic Cassidy Henehan.

If you’ve been idle, looking for a sign, THIS IS IT, my fellow Invaders:

Cause and effect, my friends!  Progress can only lead to more progress.  Get inspired, find a group of hard-working individuals with trusting and capable hands, and make something happen!  If you want to create on your own terms and evoke a palpable impact, New Orleans is where you do it!

We have, at long last, a rousing renaissance in our midst.  In spite of the crime, the closures, the educational and economical woes (to quote Chris Trew from Tami’s and his beyond hilarious and surprisingly moving ‘Alaskan Cruise,’ improv performance last Saturday), the artists in this town have got their “brass kucks” on, and they’re ready to rumble.  Are you?

xoxo-Moni

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Monica Harris is a professional theatre artist and all-around go-getter.  Originally from Angeles City, Philippines and raised in Fort Worth, TX, she is a proud New Orleanian who, between the 2-job hustle, lives the Bohemian dream.